ask the lizard

q. make names anonymous
a. a�non�y�mous (adj.) having an unknown or unacknowledged name. q. words filled with insects
a. … imagining writing words that feel filled with insects. rock.
q. lizard blood therapy
a. it’s for lyme disease.
q. pleasuring your boss
a. how about, showing up on time? maybe quit stealing office supplies?
q. platform shoes fucking
a. well, i have the shoes …
q. plotting life
a. i’m plotting mine on the imaginary time axis.
q. that would be cool on a tshirt
a. what? what? what would be cool on a tshirt?
q. cake song lyrics avalanche coming down the mountain
a. no, that was the butthole surfers. idiot.
q. miss selfrighteous pants
a. how rude. well i never. and just who do you think you are, you … you … aolsearcher. hmmph.
q. i fucked liz
a. gee. you’d think i’d remember something like that, but no. which means you are either lying, or you need to try a *lot* harder next time, mmmkay?
q. juicy cockroaches
a. as opposed to the dry, chewy kind?